Being Single in a World Full of Couples

I feel like people in my life have labeled me as being ‘’The Good Girl’’. I think this is because I was homeschooled, I can be shy, and I don’t really date. I have always resented this title because it’s usually said in a negative connotation. Is it really a bad thing to have standards? I may not have grown up like other girls my age. I haven’t done or experienced the same things in the same timeline for your average 24 year old, but I don’t really think that is bad thing.

I will admit that I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 24. We met, fell in love and then fell out of love all with in 2 months. It was quite the learning experience for me. There is so much I want to share on that experience, but I will have to write a whole other post about it… So please stay tuned…

Writing about my relationship experience (or lack there of) is a big thing for me. I don't usually broadcast this information about myself. Up until I had my first relationship most people would make untrue assumptions about me when they learn that I’ve never dated or even had a boyfriend. Being 24 and single and never been in a relationship? Something must be wrong with me. Right?

The most annoying thing I get asked when people would hear this about me is ‘‘don’t you want a boyfriend?" Singleness is not really something I have control over. Being in a relationship requires 2 people. I can want a boyfriend all I want but that’s not going to make someone magically appear. And I don't want just anyone. I want the right one.

I usually rush to my defense when I reveal this information. I say that I grew up homeschooled and went straight to cosmetology school after high school. Not much opportunity. And to top it off I am not the most outgoing person when I first meet people. I try to explain this to make myself seem less odd. But really, the true answer to the question as to why I am single is because I am not ready for a relationship right now. It’s not in God’s plan for me at the moment. I truly believe that He is preparing the right man for me. Just like He is preparing me for that right man.

I feel the need to explain a little.  To be a 24-year-old women who has never been in a relationship, never even had guys pursue you. Not even having the choice of saying no to dating. It has just never been given as an option for me. It’s very difficult when all you have ever wanted is to be in a relationship.

It’s hard seeing everyone else get what you want. I trust God and I know he has a plan for my life. But waiting is very hard.

When everyone around you is getting married and having babies and that’s all you have ever dreamed and wanted for your life. It’s hard to have patience. I find myself asking God all the time “When will it be my turn?”  

Well, I am an imperfect human and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I signed up for online dating. I have known quiet a few people in my life that have done online dating and it has worked for them. So I thought I would give it a try. And I thought maybe this is where God has planned for me to meet the man he has prepared for me....

Well I couldn’t have been more wrong!! After 8 months of membership. I have to say I am not so sure it was the right decision for me...

I have nothing against online dating I think it does work for people. But for me I don't think it was the right move.  

And here is why: I am an extremely emotional, sensitive and awkward human being.

I could go into detail of all the guys I have talked to and went on dates with but honestly who wants to read that. It’s a lot to put yourself out there over and over again. The rejection can hurt. Even though I don't know these guys very well, it was tough.

But all of this to say that… Yes, maybe the way my life has turned out is a bit unusual.

But I do believe that there is a man out there that God is preparing for me… I need to learn to trust God’s plan and not my own… His timing in answering prayers has always proved to be perfect in the past so why wouldn’t it be perfect in this situation.

We are not perfect. We make errors time and time again. But, God loves us and He wants to be in our life… But He does not force His way. It’s up to us... In my life I have been blessed so many times before and have seen His love and grace. But the enemy is real and knows what to do to bring us down… If we aren’t moving forward with God then we are moving backwards.

Thank you for reading! And remember God loves you no matter your history. 

Hebrews 10:35-36

So do not lose the courage you had in the past, which has a great reward. You must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what he has promised.